That time I Almost Got My Black Friend Fired (Or I Can Be Racist Too)

I had a black lunch buddy when I was working at a law firm in DC. I was a law clerk; He worked in IT. He was a Jamaican immigrant. First college grad in his family. He was tall with long thick dreadlocks gathered in the back. We liked to talk politics sitting at a shady park bench next to the Whitehouse facing the famous equestrian statue of Andrew Jackson. 

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One day, my boss wanted a progress report on a project. I had some IT problems so I sort of unthinkingly, offhandedly blamed IT problems for my slow progress. My friend was the entire IT Department. Without even consciously thinking about it, I had thrown my friend under the bus! (I didn't mention my friend by name, I just blamed IT problems.)

My friend got in trouble, someone yelled at him, and then he came and told me how upset he was. I understood why he was upset and I immediately apologized--it was really lame of me to deflect blame to him. I should take responsibility for my own work problems and when necessary find IT work-arounds. I emailed my boss and told him that my friend did nothing wrong and I apologized for throwing him under the bus.

The incident sticks in my memory, largely because of how well my buddy handled it. I appreciate my friends professionalism (coming to me directly to address it rather than retaliate to my boss). After I apologized, he forgave me. He never bad-mouthed me or pursued any sort of vendetta. We went back to eating lunch together. The incident was never mentioned again. 

At the time, I didn't realize how white privilege and unconscious black bias infected this workplace incident. Only today, when ruminating about the 'black lives matter' movement did it occur to me how upsetting it must have been for my friend. As a white man I was blaming a black man for a work failure. He of course was scared because black men aren't always treated with leniency in the workplace. (There are studies.) For my part, I just take for granted the way I'm generally given the benefit of the doubt. Black people can't always count on that--as this situation proved.

I had only been at this job a few months.  My friend had been working there for about a decade. Yet my little off-handed comment almost got him fired. (And, by the way, he did fix my IT problem in a timely manner. He was a good employee.)

It's scary the way unconscious bias works in the workforce, on the street, everywhere. I know that I've unthinkingly participated in it. 

We all can do better. It's not enough to avoid overt hateful acts. We need to consciously counteract unconscious biases that infect our interactions with black people and other people of color.

*Lafayette Square is where Trump recently cleared protesters in order to take a photo in front of a Church.